I feel disoriented sometimes, as I reflect some years past;
Though I try to compare the new me against the former I’d grown and worn.
Tis like a disconnect of what I’ve been doing from what I had been doing,
With good results to tell perhaps I doubt if I can tell.
Yet I strive to keep myself on track and repel any odd distractions.
History shall bear me witness, I’ve grown so well so far.
How childish I was with facts in the midst of overzealous people.
If they’d known what a mischief I was they might have gone their separate ways.
But unknown to me I would be swayed and swept by a new set of ignorants.
Now I make headway, building a strong network of contacts.
I’m lost to my own crowd of indifferent scholars
Who try to twist and turn what I keep intact
Solid faith and work gone by a whisk of a hand;
Now I see why I was childish amongst serious minded people:
The world was at my command and I sought for a strange wand otherwise.
So here I’m my future self
So moody to tap into that former self
If I’d known I took myself seriously
When the world begged for my wisdom to share;
Indeed I miss that former me,
But nevertheless, I shall conquer for its motive then still empowers me.